


All Heroes Must Die

by angrbrenna



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Magic, Serious Injuries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-12 22:20:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3357344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angrbrenna/pseuds/angrbrenna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the Prompt: Tony gets badly attacked/targeted & it looks worse then it is so while he's unconscious Fury/Avengers decide it's safer to pretend he's dead since the public/bad guy think he died & they need the advantage. The problem they don't anticipate is Tony's secret lover Loki hearing of Tony's death. His grief & rage is a confusing/terrifying sight to behold & when Tony wakes up he's very surprised to hear Loki's been throwing words around like "my Tony" and "beloved". He hadn't thought Loki cared. (Posted on frost-iron.tumblr.com)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Hero Always Wins

Villains weren't supposed to win. They never did - not in the stories, and apparently not in real life either. Tony had always found that comforting, given he was a superhero and that knowledge kept him _safe_. For Loki, that had been so _frustrating_ , knowing he was doomed to fail. But then he'd fallen in love with a hero, and he'd found comfort in it too, knowing that he could keep playing his games, keep leading attacks on Manhattan, without fear of ever hurting Tony. As to why Loki still thought it was worthwhile venture was beyond Tony's understanding, but clearly the Trickster wasn't quite ready to give up his old habits quite yet, and certainly for Tony's sake. He could only assume that Loki enjoyed a whole lot more than he enjoyed Tony's company.

"Guys - help - I'm kinda getting my arse kicked here!"

Right now, though, that constant seemed to be rapidly disintegrating.

The comm crackled, _maybe_ that was Steve's voice, but even if it was, there was no knowing what it had said.

"Jarvis? What's going on?"

"I'm afraid I don't know, sir. Your communications are down."

Another missile hit into his side, the impact winding him even through his armour. The lights in his helmet flickered, then disappeared. Blinded, he felt the sensation of falling, and his pulse began to race. "Jarvis? Jarvis?"

A few moments of silence.

"I have been able to restore some of the armour's functionality." Jarvis' familiar, calming voice brought Tony from the brink of a panic attack. "Unfortunately, your communications have been damaged beyond what is possible to repair on the field."

"That's fine, Jarv. As long as I can shoot, it's all good." He lifted a hand and fired a beam at the closest... what even where these things? They were humanoid, certainly, but not _human_... they had a transparent look about them that proclaimed them as something else. Ah - but what did it matter? They feel when Tony shot them, which was more than could be said about some of the bizarre things Loki had thrown at them.

Recklessly, Tony shot a burst of energy from his boots, blasting him up into the air and taking out every one of the strange ghost-people in a twenty foot radius. A quick glance down revealed that their bodies had not fallen, but disintegrated - what the hell were these things? No, he had to push his scientific curiosity aside, and focus on the problem at hand - such as the newly forming ghost-people, clouding around him, not-quite-transparent fingers gripping at the cracks in his armour. Besides, Loki would probably explain it later, as long as he was in a talkative mood.

Another radial beam of energy set the encroaching masses back a few feet again, but new individuals were constantly forming behind the fallen, and more and more Tony got the impression that this wouldn't end until they were taken out at the source.

At that thought, Tony glanced to a towering old warehouse to his left, the roof of which was cracking and crumbling under the weight of Loki's magic. The Trickster himself was perched right on the ledge, looming over Manhattan. His fingers moved gracefully, as if plucking at the strings of some elegant instrument, and the ghosts were all dancing to his tune. For a moment Tony had to stop and admire it - despite the knowledge that he would lose, Loki looked so confident and cool, not an inch of the desperation Tony had caught a glimpse once or twice on show now.

"Sir the suit has been compri-"

Jarvis' voice cut out, and Tony felt something cold wrap around his ankle. "Jarvis! Are you with me? What's still -"

Suddenly the lights were gone again, and Tony's voice echoed hollowly inside the helmet. Panic was beginning to set in again, digging its nails into Tony's stomach. In a desperate attempt to do something, he put all his power into the blasters, pushing him away from the spectral fingers crawling up his leg, tearing away the armour at his shin. Oh well, collateral damage. But his energy was running low and the blast barely took him anyway, and before he knew it they were on him again, dozens of them, weaving their fingers into his armour and pulling it apart piece by piece. One final yank sent the power out, and he began to feel himself falling for a second time.

He never reached the ground, to his memory at least. A shot from the side his his helmet, knocking him unconscious.

***

The plan was _working_ , much to Loki's surprise. He had assumed it wouldn't. It was new, experimental, but overall he had to admit that he liked the effect. His conjured army was much more reliable, much more easy to control, than any outside force he could find. And what was even better was that he had an endless supply - once one fell, the energy was returned to him and he could cast another, with barely a second thought.

He looked to Tony, to see how he was doing. With no small amount of pride, he saw that Tony was actually doing fairly well. A quick glance to the other Avengers showed that they were almost overwhelmed by the ghostly figures, but Tony was soaring well above his minions. _As long as he is safe_... Loki looked away, concentrating on his brother for a moment - the Thunderer had almost broken out of the masses, and Loki had to concentrate on more complex manoeuvres in order to keep his brother incapacitated.

It was easy enough - with a few flicks of his fingers he had Thor buried again, and was free to look back to Tony.

Only there was no Tony to look at.

This was nothing to panic over, Loki told himself. The Man of Iron was probably just out of his line of sight, just below the high rise building, with some plan to take Loki down. Loki put his focus into something else.

Minutes past. Tony made no appearance. _This is wrong_. But what could he do without compromising his position?

Sighing, he cast a double, and put the specters into a sort of auto pilot mode. So be it if this lost him the battle - it wasn't like he was going to win, anyway. And he stood to lose something much more important than the battle.

But no, he wouldn't lose Tony. Because the superhero would always win.

In one elegant movement he vaulted over the edge of the building in the direction that he'd last seen Tony. With one hand he spun a thread of runes, and used it to abseil down to the ground. He landed heavily on a pile over rubble that must have fallen from the weakened walls of the warehouse - clearly it was having a hard time withstanding the full force of Loki's power.

At the junction of the roads a small group of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were gathers. The ghosts had dissipated, for some reason. He'd set them to lock onto six targets - each of the Avengers - and only to give in when the target had fallen. _It must mean that Tony isn't here. It has to._ Loki closed in, straining his ears to listen in to the agents' conversations. They moved about, not speaking a word, apart from one, who appeared to speaking in a hushed voice into an ear piece. Another one of the agents moved, and Loki caught a glimpse of something red and metallic lying in the midst of the group, with several agents in the scientific uniform Loki had come to recognize.

_It's just a piece. They just don't want the technology falling into the wrong hands._

Loki crept a little closer, as close as the shadows would allow. Dread crept up on him as the actual scene came into view. All the armour was there - and so was Tony. He was lying on his back, eyes closed. Injured, maybe. Unconscious. But then where were the ghosts...

The spokesperson looked to one of the Scientists who was busy stripping Tony of all his armour. "So - what do I tell the director?"

The medic shook his head. "I'm sorry sir - there's nothing we can do. He's gone."

Every head turned as the silence was torn open by an inhuman howl. All thoughts of secrecy vanished in a moment, and Loki gave in to the emptiness as his insides caved in on themselves. They couldn't bare the weight of the knowledge that his actions had brought an end to Tony's life...

No. That wasn't true - the medic had said it himself. _There's nothing we can do._ Stupid, incompetent mortals, of course _they_ couldn't. But Loki... Loki had been around long enough to know a few tricks. He'd just have to get _them_ out of the way first.

The agents barely had a moment to think before Loki was upon them, knives at the ready. The first agent fell in seconds, blood flowing from his throat as his heart struggled to compensate for the loss off pressure. Then the second was on the ground, and a third. The knives slipped in Loki's palms as the blood coated his hands, but he only gripped tighter. But they kept coming, running at him, and then when the brave ones were gone, he fell on the runners. In the massacre he almost lost sight of his purpose.

There was a van, driving away at top speed. Tony was gone. Desperately Loki made a dash for it, but he found he _couldn't_. There were hooks in his flesh, dragging him backwards. His spells and illusions held him down - he could every one of them pulsating as the energy in him surged wildly. Control? He couldn't believe he'd thought he was in control earlier. He'd simply been... balancing, and now he'd tripped and fallen and it was tearing him to pieces.

Like a rodent caught in a rat trap he thrashed against the hooks, but he was too wrapped up in the magic to just leave it behind. There was only one thing he could think to do. With a cry of pain he expelled every scrap of energy from his body, snapping the cords and freeing him. For a few seconds his vision disappeared, and he crumpled onto the ground.

"Loki!"

Thor's voice echoed against the empty concrete canyon. Loki lifted his head - the Thunderer was still at the end of the street, but he was closing in, with the Captain at his side. Whether the other Avengers were approaching from a different angle, Loki couldn't tell. He felt wretched, but he grappled himself to his feet, gathering up everything he'd managed to regenerate since the outburst. It wasn't enough, he wouldn't even be able to put a scratch on Thor, but he had to try. It was almost unbelievable how quickly everything had gone awry.

"Loki, please. Give in now."

"I can't. I can't just... I can't give in to S.H.I.E.L.D. Not after... Thor, they're evil."

"Funny you should say that, Loki." The Captain spoke up from Thor's side. "That's what people tend to say about _you_."

"No, you don't understand! They killed Tony. They killed your team mate! They killed your friend!" Loki cringed at the sound of his own voice - he sounded _weak_ , like he was begging for something from his enemies.

The two heroes stared at him, utterly bewildered. Neither could quite get their heads' around what Loki had just said.

"Tony. My Tony." Loki was breathing heavily, offering up the name by way of an explanation. "My... my beloved."

Steve's face contorted into a look of horror and disgust. "How dare you? You sick, depraved -"

"Captain." Thor put a hand on the other man's shoulder. "You're right, my brother is sick, and delusional. He needs help."

"No!" The last thing he wanted was help from Thor. "No, I'm not lying. I love him. I do."

Thor had to physically restrain the Captain at that point. In all honesty, Loki didn't care that the Avengers knew now. It wasn't like they could like him any less, and Tony... wasn't around to bare the shame any longer.

Loki reached into his energy supply, and found that he might just have enough to get away. Carefully he cast the spell, and the familiar tug on every cell in his body was welcome, and within seconds he was miles away from his brother, the Captain and what remained of his lover.

***

As Tony came to the first thing he was aware of was the muffled voices coming out of the speakers. As his consciousness returned, so did various aches and pains dotted all across his body. The engine rumbled above his head, and the truck - ambulance? That seemed like a logical assumption - shook as it passed over the cracked tarmac.

It was easy enough to know what had happened. At least he wasn't dead. The rest of the Avengers would deal with Loki. In a way, he was glad that he didn't have to. Right now, he was more than happy to simply lay back and indulge in some good old self pity. At least until Loki's voice came on over the radio.

Suddenly he was bolt upright, and the ambulance was buzzing with activity.

_"No, you don't understand! They killed Tony. They killed your team mate! They killed your friend!"_

The cool, calm facade Loki always maintained, at least to some extent, had completely dissolved. That much was clear. Not only that but he sounded sick, hurt.

"What's happening? Let me go!"

"Get him down!"

In an instant there was strong hand on his shoulder and he was pushed back down onto the bed.

"Please let me go."

"Tony. My Tony. My... my beloved."

Loki had never sounded so sincere. Brought low by his defeat, obviously injured, but emotinally distraught at the same tame. All of the walls Loki had put up were pulled back, revealing something scarily honest.

"For god sake, turn those speakers off! And get this man some sedatives, he's going to hurt himself!"

Tony didn't even argue when he felt the needle in his arm. The satisfaction of knowing that Loki _did_ care about him left him beyond his physical form left him docile and serene. He would never have guessed that Loki was even capable of feeling that way, and it almost broke his heart that he hadn't _noticed_ before. It occurred to him that Loki had sounded hurt, and that he should be worried about that. But before he could over think it the drugs kicked in and he was slipping back into unconsciousness.

 

 

 


	2. Concealment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes up to accusations regarding Loki. Meanwhile, Loki recuperates after yet another failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys! I hope it was worth it. Here's chapter number 2. I hope you all enjoy it, and I hope I don't have to keep you waiting for so long this time.

Tony woke up to the lurid stip lighting of the S.H.I.E.L.D. hospital, a fact that pissed Tony off in itself. Weren’t S.H.I.E.L.D. over their need to confine him to their specially sanctioned facility? He’d had medical rooms installed in Stark Tower for a reason, like being able to recover with all the comforts of home, rather than in the cold, lumpy beds of the S.H.I.E.L.D. hospital.

As his brain began to wake up a little, he became aware of voices just outside the door to his room. They were too quiet for Tony to hear what was being said, and who was saying it, so instead he had a look around for the button to call for a nurse. He found it on his bedside table (wow, what a luxury) and pressed it. For some reason he’d expected an instantaneous reaction, which hardly seemed realistic given that this was a S.H.I.E.L.D. hospital. But after 20 minutes it started to feel like it was a personal thing rather than he was just on a waiting list. Really, he was _Tony Fucking Stark_ , and he felt like he deserved more respect than this, to have his achievements recognised, and… and he realised that maybe the God of Mischief was starting to rub off on him a little…

_Loki_ … The oh-so obvious answer came to him just as he heard the door open.

“Mr. Stark.” Fury came into the room, and his presence seemed to make the room feel crowded. He was then followed, unsurprisingly, by Steve, and then, somewhat more surprisingly, Thor.

“Fury. Just the man I wanted to see after waking up in hospital – and a _S.H.I.E.L.D._ hospital, at that. I’m sorry, I think you’re going to have to let me off world-saving duty for a day or two.”

“I’m sorry the accommodation isn’t to your liking, Tony, I just didn’t quite feel comfortable letting a suspected war criminal run off home.”

“ _War criminal_? Haven’t I already been tried for that? And declared innocent? Maybe you should try _googling_ it before asking me.”

“This is different, Tony. I know you got away with your specialized weaponry…”

“The suit is not…”

“I don’t care what the suit is! The point is that you won’t be able to pull that shit this time around.”

“Are you sure? Because I’m pretty good at worming my way out of things.”

“Well, unless you can convince the Supreme Court that Loki _isn’t_ a war criminal, I don’t see you getting yourself out of this one.”

Goddamnit, he hated being right. Especially when being right didn’t make you any more prepared for being right.

“Okay, let’s backtrack a second – what’s Loki got to do with anything?”

“Apparently, he’s got a lot to with you.”

“Yeah, according to who?”

“According to Loki.”

“I’m sorry – _what_? Since when have we been on speaking terms with Loki?”

“I assure you, it wasn’t an everyday kind of situation. Cap – can you explain?”

Steve stepped forward and nodded solemnly. “It was right at the end of the battle. Clint, Natasha and Bruce were badly injured.”

“Bruce was injured? How the hell did _that_ happen?”

“I don’t know – Loki’s summoned army just… exploded, or something. I don’t know with all this magic stuff. But it knocked Bruce out of Hulk mode, as well as causing a lot of damage to the nearby buildings. The whole area was trashed. As for the death toll, it’s too soon to tell, but it was high.”

Tony felt like his vital organs were sinking to the bottom of his stomach. Usually he was able to overlook the consequences of Loki’s actions. It got a lot harder to do so when they were literally pointed out to him.

“That’s… that’s not good. So, what, was Loki feeling all talkative after his massacre, or what?”

“That’s pretty much it, Tony. Once Thor and I had made sure the rest of the team was getting medical attention, we went to find him. I mean, he wasn’t even hiding. He was a mess, I don’t know how else to describe it. Screaming and shouting like the world was ending.”

There was something about that made Tony feel sick to the stomach. Loki, always the stoic, letting all his pain show through? Tony didn’t even want to imagine what could have done that to him. “Why? What the hell happened to him?”

The Captain fell silent for a second, looking almost guilty. And things seemed to be getting worse and worse. Steve was the most righteous person in the world – even if he had done something wrong, most people would just agree that he had to do it. Steve Rogers could do no wrong.

“What’s up, Cap? You just going to leave me hanging here? What did you do?”

“We were losing, Tony. We had no choice.”

“Oh I see – the ‘sacrifice play’ and all that. Still doesn’t answer my question.”

Steve fell silent, and after a few moments Fury stepped forward again. “After you fell we had the medic at the scene announce you dead. We thought that if we could maybe convince Loki we were weakened, we could get the upper hand on him.”

“You said I was _dead_?”

“You have a problem with that? It seems to me the only person who really lost out was Loki. Now you wouldn’t care about that, now, would you?”

“Are you serious? Who did you tell? How many people know? I swear to god, if I have to spend the next few days digging myself out of the hole you dumped me in…”

“No one knows, Stark. We didn’t even write it down. It was a desperate attempt, but hey, it paid off.”

“It still doesn’t explain _how_ it worked, though. Why does Loki care so much about Tony?” The Captain certainly looked confused, though there was an element of dread to his expression. It was easy enough to guess why that was there.

“I don’t know, Steve, I’ve already told you there’s nothing between me and Loki. Isn’t that enough?”

Steve blinked at him. “You didn’t say that.”

“I think my shock and overall disgust made the message pretty clear.”

“Mr. Stark, this is serious. Just give us a straight answer.”

“Are you serious?” When none of the men answers, he gave in with a sigh. “No, I have nothing to do with the God of Mischief. And never have done. And never will do. Happy?”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Steve shot him a strained smile. “But I still want to know what game Loki was playing back there.”

 

“Yeah, I’d like to know too, Steve. You know, since it’s me he’s supposedly in love with.”

“I think I may be able to offer an explanation.” For the first time in the conversation, Thor came forward. He had that look about him that he always did when the subject of Loki was brought up. It was somewhere between anger and pain – and today it was leaning more towards the latter.

“Oh good - please enlighten us.” Clearly Fury’s patience with this conversation had run its course.

“I… I don’t know for sure. Loki’s mind has been warped into something I barely recognise. But when we were children he had a habit of latching on to people. People he considered to be… _kindred spirits_ , I suppose. I think this may be something of that kind.”

“Well, that doesn’t make much sense. Why would Loki think of Tony as a _kindred spirit_ ,” – The Captain sounded almost bitter as he spat out the phrase – “when I can’t see any similarities between them. And even then it makes no damn sense for Loki to speak about Tony like _that_.”

“As I said, Captain, my brother’s mind is not what it was, and I have no way of telling what he’s thinking. But it’s possible that whatever broke Loki’s mind in this way, may have caused him to have some sort of delusion regarding Tony, to cope with his reality.”

Silence fell between the four men, and it almost seemed like they wanted a confirmation from Tony. And if that’s what they wanted, he’d have to give it to them. But it felt like the ultimate portrayal. Not only was he putting Loki across as insane, but also desperately, _pathetically_ , lonely. If Loki could hear him speaking now… Tony didn’t even want to imagine the look on his face. Somehow, over the months of their turbulent relationship, Tony had begun to foster actual emotion for the Trickster, beyond simple lust. But what else could he do? He was as helpless and vulnerable as Loki had been, and if he let the cat out of the bag he’d be locked up somewhere deep and dark, somewhere he’d never see Loki again. Which would only get Loki himself caught, if his reaction to Tony’s “death” was anything to go by.

“Yeah, makes more sense than I actually believing a word Loki says. I still can’t believe you had to ask. Can I go home now?”

His hand shook as he poured himself another glass of whiskey. He’d gotten home around midday, and had been drinking for four hours straight. Luckily he’d paced himself, or he would have passed out, but it was enough to take the edge off of the pain, and to give him a nice, warm little buzz.

He had to call Loki. There was more to the story than what he’d gotten out of Cap before they’d finally let him home. Tony suspected that Steve didn’t know the whole story, but that he knew more than he’d said. But Loki – Loki would know the whole thing.

But then he’d have to deal with Loki’s confession. Yeah, it had been nothing more than some passionate words thrown out in a time of great pain, but Tony hadn’t even realised he felt like that – that he was _capable_ of feeling like that. It scared him. It made his heart beat faster. It made him wonder whether the feeling was mutual.

Clumsily he pulled himself to his feet and walked towards the bar, where he’d left his phone. He’d gotten it out the minute he’d gotten home and had intended to call Loki right away. But then he’d got cold feet and convinced himself that one little drink would loosen him up a little and make the phone call a little easier. The time had just slipped away after that.

He began to type in Loki’s number, carefully and deliberately entering each digit, taking his time to do so. Hesitating for a second, he finally pressed the dial button.

It rang right up to the non-descript, default voice mail message. Again, things were getting worse. Why wasn’t Loki answering? Had he left? Was he hurt? Had he done something unthinkable? Shaking even more than he had before, he dialled the number again.

Every muscle in Loki’s body hurt. Admittedly it hurt a little less than when he’d crawled back into his apartment after his spectacular failure in New York. In a way, though, he was grateful for the pain. It offered an alternative problem to that which was bothering him the most.

Was the phone ringing again? In the time he’d been confined to the sofa it had gone off several times, but he’d dismissed them as sales calls. However the idea had dawned on him that maybe Tony _wasn’t_ dead, and that _maybe_ he should be answering the phone. He’d resolved to do just that, before returning to wallowing in his misery. When the opportunity had come for him to do as he’d planned, he’d forgotten about it (or so he told himself). But now the phone was insisting that he get up off the sofa and answer it. Besides, what kind of sales person calls twice in a row?

It took some effort to get on his feet and lumber over to the phone. He picked it up, put it to his head and said, “Tony.”

“Loki.”

And Loki smiled. “I thought it would be you.”

“Really? Because your little Juliet performance yesterday kind of suggested you did actually believe I was dead. Or did you think it would just be fun to put both our lives in danger?”

“Isn’t that the point of a “Juliet performance”? And anyway, wouldn’t it make more sense for me to be Romeo? He was the more dramatic of the two.”

“I don’t know, Lokes, I haven’t read it. But you’re missing the point.”

Was Tony slurring his words slightly? If so, he must be considerably inebriated, given how good Tony was at pretending to be sober. “I’m not missing the point. I’ll admit that I wasn’t thinking much at the time, but my mind is much clearer now. Unlike yours, it would seem.”

There was silence on the other end. “So, I’ve had a few drinks. What does it matter? I’m dead, for Christ’s sake. I think I deserve a drink.”

Loki smirked at that. “It wasn’t a criticism, Anthony, I was just wondering why you didn’t invite me.”

“Well why do you think I’m calling?”

“I was joking, Anthony.”

“Well, I’m not. Come over.”

“I can’t.”

“Why _not_? Please? I need you to come over.”

Loki paused for a second, considering. “Is it safe?”

“Hell no. When is it ever safe? And they’re on to me now, too.”

“Then it wouldn’t be exactly wise for me to come over to yours, would it?”

“No, but I need to see you.”

“Then come here.”

Over the phone, Loki could hear Tony tutting. “Drinking and driving, Loki, it’s never a good idea. Wasn’t it you that insisted I stop flying drunk?”

“Are you drunk?”

“I hope so.”

“That’s irresponsible, Tony.”

“I’m inviting a psychotic, masochistic war criminal with a God complex into my home, hours after being accused of being his secret lover. I think my alcohol consumption is the least of your worries.”

Another indication of Tony’s current level of intoxication. When he was sober he refused to even acknowledge Loki’s actions and the lives they cost.

“Okay. You stay there. I’ll be over in a moment.”


	3. Nothing More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Tony sit down to talk. At first things seem to go downhill, but once Loki finds the courage to put his pride aside, it seems like Loki's confession may have paved the way to a brighter future for both of them together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait, guys. Life has been really busy. If any of you are still reading this, I hope you like it! It's getting a little less angsty. And if you enjoy it, please leave kudos or comments, it means so much to me.

Yes, Tony decided. He was drunk. Drunk enough to deal with whatever state of mind he might find Loki in. Which was lucky, because he could hear those paper-thin, feline footsteps behind him, so quiet that it had taken quite some practice to recognise them.

"You took your time."

"I had to walk."

"Walk?" Tony snorted. "What was the line again? ‘You must be truly desperate to...'"

"Tony, please, haven't we moved on beyond that now?"

"Apparently so, sweetheart, though you didn't seem to think you needed to tell me that."

Loki rounded the corner of the sofa, finally coming into Tony's view. The Inventor hadn't even bothered to look up when he'd heard the trickster enter.

"But wouldn't you agree with me? We'd both be much happier without that knowledge, and while it was inescapable for me, I had hoped to protect you from the truth."

"What... what does that even mean? It doesn't mean anything. It's just... excuses..." He made an unintelligible growling sound from the depths of his throat, downed the last of his whiskey, then held the glass up to Loki. "Pour me another drink, would you? Come on, Lokes, I'm the love of your life! And while you're there, grab one for yourself. This conversations going to be no fun if only one of is drunk."

Loki regarded the glass with disdain, before gently lowering himself onto the sofa beside Tony. It was relief to get off his feet again, though he was reluctant to show how painful it had been walking over to his tower and the manoeuvring it had taken to get inside unseen. He'd shown Tony more than enough of his weaknesses, in his opinion. "I would much rather have this conversation with you when you’re... clearer of mind. I'm thinking that maybe I should come back another time."

"Then you'll be waiting quite a while, Lokes, because I don't plan to be sober for a while now."

"Or perhaps when you're at least a little more sober..."

"Sweetheart, I'd have to be at least this drunk to think inviting you over is a good idea."

Loki's eyes narrowed and he seemed to stiffen a little, even in his reclined position on Tony's sofa. It was almost like he was at a loss for words. Wouldn't that be something? Tony managing to rid the wordsmith of his words. "Why did you invite me over then? If you think it's such a bad idea."

"Well, since you'd been so nice about me..."

"I want the truth, Anthony, not sarcasm."

"Oh, because you always tell the truth."

"That's not the point right now. Do not avoid the question. Besides, don't I deserve the truth? I would think I've been brutally honest with you recently."

"You... you think that's a good thing?"

"Well, I suppose not..."

"No - it's not, trust me on this, Dasher. It was not a good thing. You could have ruined my life. I still have Fury all up my ass about this."

"And yet you still invited me here. Evidently Fury's presence is not the deterrent you say it is."

"So shoot me, I'm kinda drunk. Didn't I already say that though?"

"Even if you hadn't, it's fairly obvious from your failure to take this subject seriously."

"Serious? You want me to be serious."

Loki shrugged. "It might be _nice_."

"You love me."

Suddenly the God's eyes narrowed and he was on his feet, defensive. "I said serious, not stupid."

"Oh, come on, Lokes - who do you think you're fooling? And, you know, I can't exactly blame you. I am _very_ attractive."

Tony's humour did nothing to appease the God. "Do you think that's funny? It's pathetic, if anything. Are you really so desperate for love that you've convinced yourself that you'll find that in me?"

"Sweetheart, I don't think I'm the desperate one. I mean, come one, Lokes, you literally screamed my name out for the whole damn city to hear, how can you deny it?"

A slight blush came to Loki's cheeks, though whether that was out of embarrassment or anger was unclear. Loki looked like a viper about to dig his teeth into Tony's flesh, which certainly suggested the latter. "Do you think me inhuman?"

"What?" Tony treated the question with caution; there was no telling what Loki would do to his answer. "Well, no, but I don't see how..."

"We've been fucking for months now, Stark."

"Yes, I know..."

"Do you really think I would not feel any sort of remorse, knowing that I'd brought about your death?"

It took a moment for Tony to process what Loki was saying. There was something so surreal about Loki standing there above him, confessing to his crime. It felt like an unprecedented discovery, a phenomena never before seen by the human eye. "But you said..."

"I don't know what I said, Anthony. I didn't know at the time. It was guilt, nothing more. Nothing more..."

Tony shuddered and pushed himself further into the cushions. "So you don't love me."

Loki seemed to shrink a little, his muscles relaxing and his eyes returning to normal. "Well... no, I suppose not."

With that the tension in the situation dissipated, and Tony was happy enough to except Loki's answer. He'd become aware that Loki wasn't some heartless monster, so it made sense for him to be guilty. His outburst had been a product of that, nothing more. Surely that made more sense than anything else.

"Is that all, Anthony?" Within seconds Loki had recomposed himself, and was now tugging his hair back into place impatiently.

Surely his explanation made more sense than anything else? The way Loki had explained it made everything fit into place, but looking at the evidence...

"You're lying to me."

Loki looked up, fearful at first and then his anger returned with a vengence. "I already told you, Stark -"

"Yeah, but you lied to me -"

"I may have shown affection-"

"- It's not that I mind, but-"

"- But you need to get this idea out of your head-"

"Loki, for God's sake, will you stop spewing your bullshit for five seconds and listen? I'm telling you that I don't mind that you allowed, and I don't... I don't mind if you love me."

The look on the God's face made it seem like he'd been told he'd grown a second head. "What?"

"I said-"

"I know what you said." This interruption seemed less like an attack, and more of a defence, as if Loki didn't really want to hear him say it again. "I was more expressing... surprise, rather than confusion."

"What... what does that even mean?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Loki spat out the words venomously almost instinctively, and then looked apologetic. "No, maybe not, I'm sorry. It means I understand what you said - I just didn't expect you to say it."

"Yeah, but that doesn't tell me what you're thinking. Which is something I'd really like to get an idea of right now."

"Well, yes, I suppose that makes sense."

"So - are you going to tell me or are you just going to stand there like you've gone into shock?"

Loki did not reply. He was visibly shaking, and all the colour had drained out of his already pale features. With a shock, Tony realised that Loki had simply dropped some illusion he'd been maintaining. This was what he'd been like the whole time, most likely. "Loki, what's wrong?"

The God smiled weakly, and sunk down onto the sofa again, crawling up and lying down beside Tony. "Nothing, it would seem."

"Are you sure? Because you got hit by car, or something. Like a truck. Or an aeroplane."

"Not quite. I suppose realising that I love you tore me to pieces."

"Ah, yeah, sorry about that Lokes. Let's hope it was worth it, hey?"

Loki laughed softly. "We'll see."


End file.
